When Motherhood Feels Like a Hot Mess: Finding Grace in the Chaos
If no one told you today, you're doing better than you think. Grab your caffeinated drink and let's talk.
Homeschool is starting again, and I swear the school years just keep getting shorter. My son is heading into 7th grade. My daughter? Sophomore year. (Pause for dramatic gasp.) Somehow, they both keep growing up, without my permission.
We’ve always leaned into a more “unschooling” rhythm in our home. Baking, cooking, gardening, nature walks, and spontaneous deep dives into whatever sparks their curiosity that week. It’s been beautiful, chaotic, and ours. I’ve loved watching them learn through life and not just worksheets.
Things are shifting. My daughter is preparing to study for her GED and has her eyes on starting college classes online. And my mama heart? It’s proud and wrecked all at once. I catch myself looking at her and thinking, “Weren’t you just learning to read with Goldfish crackers and pink markers?” She’s even talking about joining the Navy Seals in a few years. The. Navy Seals.
This season is bringing some big transitions, and honestly? I’m struggling a little. Okay, a lot. It’s one of those moments where I have to sit myself down and say, “Girl, you can’t control this. You can’t freeze time. You can’t keep them little.” (Believe me, I’ve tried.)There’s almost a sense of loss for me this year. I don’t have any littles anymore. No kiddos in children’s ministry. No silly little kid sayings. My daughter once said she was a cheese dinosaur instead of a cheese connoisseur, and my son called Netflix "Neck Flicks" for way longer than I should admit because we didn’t want to correct him. I feel like I’m grieving in a way.
The truth is, we’re getting closer to the “just me and my husband” phase of life than we are to the beginning of this parenting journey. That realization hits hard. It’s a weird in-between: letting go while still holding on. Trusting their future while missing their past. It’s messy, emotional, and completely truly tender.
And yet, even in all the emotional clutter, I’ve found grace.
Because here’s the thing: God sees every chaotic, tear-filled, laundry-piled, “what’s for dinner again?” moment of motherhood. And He carries it with us. He knows how hard this job is. He’s not surprised when we ugly cry in the bathroom or closet (don’t tell anyone I do that) or whisper prayers of “Lord, help me not lose it today.” He gets it.
And yes, some days, grace looks like deep prayer. Other days? It’s a good playlist, a hot shower, and a strong iced coffee. Jesus and caffeine have truly carried me through more than I can stop to imagine.
So if you're also in a season of transition, of releasing control, of clinging to Jesus while navigating algebra, teenage moods, and your own quiet heartbreak, know this: you are not alone. Grace is showing up in the mess. Peace is sneaking in through the cracks. And God is parenting you, while you parent them. If you’re finding yourself in a season of change or overwhelm, here are a few simple things that have helped me breathe through the chaos and reconnect with what matters.
Let something go. You don’t have to hold it all. Choose one thing to lay down this week. Whether it’s a chore, a plan, or an expectation that’s weighing you down. Give yourself permission to not do it all. (Or even scarier: ask for help with your to-do list.
Speak truth out loud. When the overwhelm hits, try saying out loud: “God, I trust You with my kids. You love them even more than I do.” It may feel awkward, but there’s power in hearing truth with your own ears. I practice this with my kids all the time, speak God’s truth daily.
Set a 10-minute timer for stillness. In the middle of your day, before bedtime, or during a quiet morning moment, set a timer and just be still. Let your soul catch up with your body. Breathe. Pray. Cry if you need to. God’s not going anywhere. (This is done in my closet or my bathroom, don’t judge me.
Capture the good. Keep a small notebook or use your Notes app to jot down one sweet, silly, or meaningful moment each day. These little glimpses of grace are the anchor in the chaos. Open it up at the end of the night if you’ve had a rough day. It helps.
Motherhood is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. But I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.
Keep it real, keep it holy,
Tiffany
Your Turn: What transition season are you in right now?
Are your kids growing up too fast, too?
Or maybe you’re in the baby/toddler trenches wondering if sleep will ever come again.
Share in the comments. I’d love to pray for you.
Need a little worship reset today? Go listen to “Seasons” by Hillsong Worship or “You Hold It All Together” by Maverick City Music (I know, I know—but sometimes they just hit right).
