Dancing in the Kitchen, Praying in the Chaos
If you’ve ever looked at your calendar and wondered, “Wait… how is this my life right now?”
Same, friend. Life has been a whirlwind lately!
Briar just started volleyball, which means practices, games, and me trying to remember to pack extra water bottles and snacks. I’ve stepped into a few new serving roles at church (both exciting and stretching at the same time). Robert’s work schedule shifted, so we’re still finding our rhythm as a family around that. And then there’s regular life. You know, the stuff that never actually pauses: Gideon’s Taekwondo, homeschooling, military programs, my own work and writing, cooking meals, feeding animals. Did I mention laundry? (Because, oh, the laundry.)
Honestly, I need some caffeine just thinking about it all.
And guess what would be so easy to miss in the middle of all the busyness? My marriage.
Our anniversary was August 28th. 17 years! I keep joking that we’re almost an adult now. We’ve had quite the variety of anniversary celebrations: going to theme parks, expensive steak or seafood dinners, renewing our vows, to just sitting in the car after a long day at work and enjoying dessert in the driveway. This year, I wasn’t feeling very well, and Robert had to work in the evening, but we still made time for just us. He took me out to lunch and we walked around some of our favorite stores, taking our time down the aisles just holding hands.
But real talk? Even after all this time, we still have to be intentional about finding time to connect. Sometimes that looks like stopping what we’re doing in the kitchen and just hugging (or sneaking in a quick dance). Sometimes it’s sitting on the closet floor, checking in with each other before the chaos of the week catches up.
One thing that has helped us a lot is asking a few simple but meaningful questions. We learned these from a marriage seminar we attended:
Weekly Questions:
What brought you joy this week?
What was something hard this week?
What is one specific thing I can do for you this week?
Is there any unconfessed sin, conflict, or hurt?
What is a dream, craving, and/or desire in your mind?
How can I pray for you this week?
Monthly Questions:
How is our sex life?
How are we managing our money?
They might sound simple, but these little conversations are anchors in the storm. They remind us to pause, look at each other, and choose connection over chaos.
Because at the end of the day, no matter how full the schedule, the truth still holds: “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28 NLT)
So here’s to chaotic calendars, holy caffeine, marriage check-ins, and the God who gives us rest (and love) in the middle of it all. Cheers!
Keep it real, keep it holy,
Tiffany
17 Things We’ve Learned in 17 Years of Marriage
Hug often, sometimes that’s all you need.
Laughter really does cover a multitude of messes.
Teamwork is less about splitting things 50/50 and more about giving 100% when the other person can’t.
Marriage is not about keeping score. (Trust me, no one wins that game.)
Date nights don’t have to be fancy to count. Sitting in the car eating fast food together can be magical. We had an anniversary like this last year.
Forgiveness isn’t a one-time decision; it’s a daily practice.
Praying together changes the tone of your whole house. (THIS IS IMPORTANT.)
Sometimes you just need to go to bed, and talk about it in the morning.
Being right is overrated. Being united is priceless.
Inside jokes are the glue that holds a marriage together.
Romance looks different in different seasons. Sometimes it’s flowers, sometimes it’s taking the trash out without being asked.
Listen more than you talk. (Harder than it sounds.)
Marriage is not 17 years of “happily ever after.” It’s 17 years of choosing each other, every single day.
Protect your marriage from busyness; chaos will always try to creep in.
Intimacy is built in the small, daily moments, not just the big ones.
Saying “I’m sorry” quickly makes a big difference. (And you have to mean it)
God really does sustain what He ordains. He’s been the center that holds us together.
Recommended Worship Song:
We were married before we became Christians, so our wedding song is by Usher. Let’s stick to something that glorifies God: Build My Life by Pat Barrett: It’s a reminder that even in the busiest seasons, there’s no better foundation than Christ. God, thank you for my marriage!
